Maybe Your Magic Won't Affect Me Anymore. Think So.

Some random things irritated my mind lately.. You know what it feels when you just can keep everything inside? It hurts dude.. I swear.. This day, Today, i think i have to write the details for my history, about today. Actually it's Monday, November 17, 2008, maybe around 1.04am, 15 minutes ago, i finally can say, from today and so on it's gonna be my unforgettable day of my life. Why? cos i never told someone about my feeling inside, but i have a reason for that. You know i just don't wanna hurt people's feeling, cos i know fact and truth is killin. But yeh, one of my best friend ever told me, ''You're nothing if u cant face the truth, and accept the fact"- STC. Thanks btw dude, finally it works in my mind, and i can apply that in my real life. I don't know what i was thinkin when i cant take my feelin anymore, i was like so fckd up the whole day, thinking, thinking, full of thinking, and then my mom called, and i don't know why, i was like missing mom so much.. and i cant help my tears. Dammit, why do i have to cry while i was on the phone with mom. Shit.
Next, i was messing around in my room still, foolin around with things, and yeah dying with my lovely ciggs and laptop that i cant live without. U stuffs are my very best friend. Yeah sorry out of topic. Yep so i was deciding to let someone know about my feelin inside. Note : Not like feelin' like i have a crush or 'love' and those other kind of thing, but actually i think someone was treating me like a crap. And im so fckn tired of it, and i'm done with it. I didn't even know why my emo attitude is so on currently. So yeah i decided to say directly by text msg, i thought this way is better, i was not looking for some argument, so better use this way ey, and the text msg that i have sent is up to 10 links, hahahah i know, wtf? i was like.. where the fck this words came from? Words from God. HAHA. I guess that's what i have to say.. Better hurts but live in the truth, then livin in a lie, like i was. It felt like pain in the ass, really.

I guess just enuf just wanna share what i feel now. Yeah kinda guilt but i think i have to be honest. Sometimes peoples hurt you, they don't even care about your feelin, so i was learning to be honest with my feeling. Sorry my friend, i have to say the truth. Don't you get it wrong ya, i'll forgive you as always alrite and i'm so sorry about that also ya. Chill ok. Everything's gonna be fine sooner or later. I had enuf for now. It's time for me to chill a bit and figuring out what i wanna do tomorrow. I'm sick of my room, no social life, and so much tears.

Guess i have to say goodbye for sadness and painful day of my life. Hope tomorrow i can work my ass off to go somewhere or do something.


Night.